What they don’t tell you about ‘being confident’

“You’re so confident. You do it so effortlessly,” they told me. But all confident people know that it’s never effortless. It comes from years of pain and self-doubt.

The thing about confidence that people don’t tell you about is that it comes from years and years of pain, torment, self-doubt, self hurt, and believing in the naysayers. The road to being confident means being able to acknowledge those pain and unlearn all the things you’ve been taught. It’s about turning those negative voices into power to fuel you and ultimately making that change; mentally, physically, socially, spiritually, what have you.

It’s about standing up for yourself in the most positive and authentic way for you, however that looks like, and staying true to it. Ultimately, being strong and brave enough to mute everything else and finding your strength and amplifying it to great heights.

It’s also about understanding that even the most strong and confident person occasionally fall out of confidence because hey, we’re only human, we have our moments. That’s why a good support system – your friends and family – is important to lift you up in your darkest days.

If all else fails, remember that the first step towards achieving self-confidence and self love is by changing the way you speak to yourself. You can’t control what others say to you, but you can control what you say to yourself.

The question is, would you choose kindness or cruelty?

Published by Jasmine

Sex Positive Advocate from Malaysia. Follow @jasexplains.

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